How the Grinch Caught AIDS!
by CelestialBondageSpider
Summary: Join the Grinch on his amazing quest for celibcacy! Will he seced or will he FAIL! Find out in this awsome story!


Hey guyz! When I was younger, I took lots of sex and educashun. It was super important so I wrote a story to let lil homies no that its not a good idea to have sex with others that are too horny so they have AIDS, witch is also different from the mashine that deaf ppl use 2 here. Its sopposed to be somewhat funny, so dont bash it till u tried it! But Im 4 consenshual sex cuz its not 4 fun only, but only sometimes. Also it is based on Dr. Seuss' story, 1 of my FAV writhers! I always liked the Grinch, so I made him good in tihs story. Don't blame me if its not perfect!

How The Grinch CAught AIDS

Every Who  
Down in Who-ville  
Liked Sex a lot...

But the Gricnh,  
Who was a moral crewsadr for only conscenshual between couples sex,  
Did NOT!

The Grinch hated slutty SEXX! The whole orgy season!  
Now, he was very intelligent with sex ed. He had a verrry good raeson.  
It couldn't be that he wasn't screwed quite right.  
It couldn't be that his condum were too tight.  
Cuz he was responsable with his sex and the bigest reason of all  
Was not that his cock was two sizes 2 small.

But,  
He new that sex was bad,  
especially when you dont know when the other person had sex with who,  
He stood there at Christy's cabaraey (its a place by my house where all the perv guys go), hating the Whos,  
Wanting to stop the hookers from doing it with parents, the Grinchy peaked  
At flashing fleshlites that were below in the streets.  
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath  
Was busy now, having sex with a ho without teeth.

"And they're paying for sex!" he snarled wile drinkin root beer.  
"Tomorrow they'll have AIDS! It's pratically hear!"  
Then he meditated with yoga, with his grinch fingers nervisly drumming,  
"I MUST find a way to keep who-whores from coming!"  
For, tomorrow, he knew...

...All the Who girls and boys  
Would have no good parents to love them. They'd rush for their daddies!  
And then! O, the noise! O, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!  
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the Whos, young and old, would go doggy-style in there beds.  
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!  
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!  
They would start on Who-pudding, and suck on rare Who-roast-breast  
Wich was something the Grinch couldnt stand in the least!

And THEN  
They'd do something he hated a lot!  
Every Who down in Who-ville, smoked lots of pot,  
Would stand close together, with their vibraters ringin.  
They'd stand in coitus. And the Whos would start banging!

They'd bang! And they'd bang!  
AND they'd SEX! BANG! CUM! SCREWW!  
And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-SEX-crew  
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this hole sexy brew!  
"Why 4 sixty-nine years I've put up with it now!  
I MUST stop AIDS from coming!  
...But HOW?"

Then he got an idea!  
A very good idea idea!  
THE GRINCH  
GOT A WONDERFUL, AND GOOD IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed with no sexual urges.  
And he made a quick condum, foreskin and then he purges.  
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy tric!  
"With this condum and foreskin, I'll look just likea dick!"

"All I need is a va-j-j..."  
The Grinch looked around.  
But since kittens are scarce, they were all buried in the ground.  
Did that stop the old Grinch...?  
No! The Grinch simply said,  
"If I can't find a pussy, I'll make one that's not dead!"  
So he called his penis. Then he took some red thread  
And he tied big wax lips on top of the head.

THEN  
He loaded his bags  
And his old empty sacks  
But he was not gay  
And he hitched up his penis, witch he called his tack.

Then the Grinch said, "Giddyup!"  
And his penis went flaccid  
Then he snuck to the brothells and homes where the Whos  
Lay with sex amd they were pieceful and plassid.

All their windows were dark. Loud grouns filled the world.  
All the Whos were all dreaming wet dreams with pubic curls  
When he came to the first room he hurled.  
"This is stop number one," The old Grinchy Claus hissed  
And he broke into the room, empty bags when he saw wierd things with a fist.

Then he took off the sheets. A wet and tight fit.  
But if two people could do it, then so could the Grinch's dick.  
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.  
Then he stuck his head out of the booty of the two  
Where the little Who penis was hung erect.  
"These penis," he grinned, "are the first things that go to heck!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,  
Around the whole room, and he took every sex orgin pressent!  
Penisses! And va-j-js! Boobs! Bums!  
Prostate glans! Anus! Balls! And plums!  
And he stuffed them in his bags. Then the Grinch, very fast and asexual,  
Stuffed all his sack bags like it was a Mexican ritual!

Then he slunk to the sheets. He took the Whos' semen!  
He took the Who-pudding! He took the poo from the he-men!  
He cleaned out that bedroom and cleared their drug stash.  
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash! (Idk why docter sues thinks drugs r ok!)

Then he stuffed all the STDS in viles of cleaning solushin like a maid.  
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will catch AIDS!"

And the Grinch grabbed the man's peepee, and he started to shove  
When he heard a a girl sobing like the coo of a dove.  
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!  
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not no longer two!

The Grinch had been caught by this little Who daughter teen!  
Who'd got out of bed cuz her breath felt smelly and needed a cup of Listerine.  
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Daddy, why,  
"Why do you have sex all the time with strangers? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Grinch was so loving and so fast  
He thought up a lie, and said it really fast!  
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake absentie fahter lied,  
"I have a problem with my pepe so I have to do it with peopl eon my side!.  
"So I'm goin 2 the docter to fix it, my deer.  
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

And his love fooled the child. Then he patted her head  
And he got her Listerine and he sent he to bed.  
And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup,  
HE went to the labraotyr and stuffed the penis up!

Then the last thing he took  
Was the porno magasines.  
Then he went out the window himself, like a latreene.  
On their walls he left nothing but informashun against sex with prositutes.

And the one speck of cum  
The he left in the house  
Was a spot that was from a man who was aroused.

Then  
Choked a rubbery chicken  
All by hisself

It wasn't sin because it was not for money  
And he wasn't a father who left his family for a slutty whore from Reno  
or even an elf!

It was when there was no sex...  
None of the Whos, were having any  
All the Whos, were in his sack  
When he packed up the many,  
Packed it up with their condums! The penisses! The labia!  
The tags! And the vibraters! The ky jelly! The mastabatas!

Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,  
He rode to the tiptup so he could bump it!  
"Pooh-pooh will not be on the face of the Whos!" he was disgusted and running.  
"They're finding out now that no sex feends r cumming!  
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!  
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or 2  
"The all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cheer WOO-HOO!"

"They will not die with sex," grined the Grinch,  
"I dont want them to have herpes or gonorea or any other disese!"  
So he paused. And the Grinch put his bags from under his kneees.  
And he did hear a sound peeping out of his balls.  
It started in low. Then it started to craw;...

And the sound wasn't sad!  
Why, this sound sounded merry!  
It was just so!  
And it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at his nuts!  
The Grinch popped his balls!  
Then he shook!  
What he saw was a shock for al!

Every Who down in his ballscak, the tall and the small,  
Was singing! Without any STDS at all!  
He HADN'T stopped AIDS from coming!  
IT CAME!  
Somehow or other, it came yet the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch-cok ice-cold in the snow,  
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How can I catch this ho?  
She came without boobs! She came without tags!  
"She came without va-j-j condums, trojans or bags!"  
And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore. (LOL, sicko!)  
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!  
"Maybe AIDS," he thought, "doesn't come from a whore.  
"Maybe AIDS...perhaps...came from a chimpanse or four!"

And what happened then...?  
Well...in Who-ville they say  
That the Grinch's small dick  
Grew three sizes that day!  
And the minute his condum didn't feel quite so tight,  
He whizzed with his load through his pants and it was a delight  
And he snatched up the AIDS! And then he jerked off with it for days!  
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!  
The Grinch cheered "I Caught You AIDS!"


End file.
